Pool Day.

No surprise here that I'm just now posting photos from almost a month ago...

It was 9:30 am, 75 degrees, and Waverly wanted to swim. So swim she did.

Happy, swimming girl!

Dancing...

... and singing to songs she doesn't even know.

Silly face!!

Even better!

Loss.

Um, I don't do well with loss. Really, though, who does?

I'm terrified of it. Always have been. When I was younger, I would lay awake at night developing "escape plans" for if our house was ever on fire. I would mourn the loss of beloved items or people that I hadn't even lost. When my childhood dog, Clyde, was in his last few months of life, I would lay in bed and cry over his death that had yet to occur. And when he did pass away, I was a hot mess. I hate that feeling.

But it's life. I've matured a lot since those days, obviously, and I've grown in my faith, so much so, that I view death a little differently. But it's still terrifying in the sense that once someone or something is gone, it's so final.

I'm dealing with that horrible feeling of finality, right now. I lost one of my most favorite people today.

He's a fighter, but the Lord didn't want him to fight any longer. And while I'm down here bawling and carrying on, he's dancing with Jesus. And the cancer's gone and his sick body is healed. And he no longer has to fight because the battle's won.

And I cry for his family and even, myself. He was our biggest fan, our loudest cheerleader. He said we viewed this next part of our lives as "an adventure" and he loved that because he knew that serving the Lord and sharing His Gospel to the ends of the earth, is not something to be afraid of, it's an adventure. He understood. He encouraged us.

He was with us in spirit as we were appointed back in May, as he lay in the hospital bed fighting to recover from post-cancer surgery. Chandler was faithful to visit him almost every week in the hospital, and looked forward to sharing the appointment service video with him.

I stayed in contact via text message with his wife. I would ask how he's doing, ask how she's doing, and apologize for not coming to visit. I don't handle hospitals well. Or seeing the ones I love in such a condition. She understood. I wanted to preserve my memory of him; well, eating lunch with us before his surgery, talking about the future, and encouraging us. I didn't want to see him sick. I didn't want to face the reality that he might not make it.

But I did this morning. The Lord laid on my heart last week that I needed to suck it up and go see him. And I'm glad I did. I was able to go into his room and stand by his bed. I rubbed his arm and told him I love him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. He was comatose, but maybe he could hear me.

Regardless, I know in my heart that I won't regret not ever seeing him in the hospital. I won't regret seeing him that one last time before he passed.

He's in a much better place and he's fully healed, but he will be missed more than anything.

Two of my most favorite people ever, Jane and Larry (Lar).

One of my most favorite memories: Laughing with Lar about cake.
That was a seriously good laugh.

Week 3, Day 1

Another not so fun day, but, then again, there's not a whole heck of a lot that IS fun about running except the assurance that I'm doing something good for my health and that's what keeps me going.

Today was the Tim Hargis Race to Cure Cholangiocarcinoma, a 5K organized by the family of Tim to raise funds and awareness for this rare form of cancer. Tim is our 6th grade guys Life Group teacher; he taught Chandler over 10 years ago, and his wife, Ann, was Waverly's Mom's Day Out teacher this past fall and spring, so they have a special place in our hearts and the heart of our youth group.

A few months ago, I decided that the youth needed to get involved in this event in some way. So, we started promoting the race and offered our students the opportunity to purchase TEAM TIM shirts that we would tie-dye. Almost 60 students and adults signed up for the shirts and last week we had a tie-dye event. It was a blast and 100% of the money we raised went toward the Cholagiocarcinoma Foundation. Today, we all wore our shirts and walked (or ran) for the cure!

I set out with every intention of walking the entire 3 miles, while Chandler wanted to run at least a mile. Which he did, then circled back and met up with Wave and I. The temperature climbed fairly steadily over those couple of hours and I suggested that we go ahead and get our training out of the way for the day, knowing full well we wouldn't be running later with the temperature rising in the mid-80s.

We did. And it kicked my butt... again. Of course, the butt kicking came as no surprise. I'm pretty used to it by now. What does come as a surprise is the change up in the middle of our routine. I expect a 1.5 minute run, but I start dying, thinking it's the longest minute and a half of my life, until I look at the app and it was a 2.5 minute run. Quite honestly, I'd rather not know what the training will look like for each day because someone like me, who hates working out, just counts down that time and what is more miserable than constantly looking at the clock? Anyway, doesn't it move slower when you do that?

The last 2.5 minute run caught me with a huge cramp in my ribs; I couldn't even move my shoulder to move my arm. I really need to drink more water before I run. So, we deviated from the plan for the day and just walked until the pain subsided, then jogged across the finish line.

We did it. And it wasn't easy. But we did it.