Out with the old, in with the new..

I cleaned out dresser drawers yesterday, as I find myself doing every three months or so, preparing for the new season. I laid out each drawer's contents on the floor and arranged the clothes in piles: too small, not in season, keep, donate. The whole process was somewhat therapeutic and I felt accomplished in my attempts at organization; simultaneously, I rode the wave of nostalgia because it was Waverly's clothes that I set aside and replaced. I came across newborn size bloomers that were left behind from a previous clean out and I couldn't get over how tiny they appeared compared to her now nine month size rear end.

Just a couple feet away, Waverly rolled around in her crib, oblivious to my presence in her room and fighting her inevitable nap. I heard her babbling, "da da da da", and saw the top of her head pop up above the bumper mid-roll. Suddenly, the music from her jungle mobile changed from rain forest sounds to Bach as she reached up to push the button. I laughed quietly to myself, so as not to give away my location, impressed at her new ability.

I am in awe of the little person Waverly has become compared to the even littler person she was six months ago. I remember being excited when she could hold her head up and a bit liberated when she could sit up on her own. I cried the first time she laughed and laughed the first time she responded to my kiss with a kissing sound of her own. She's spent the past couple of weeks tucking her legs up and face planting on the carpet in an attempt to crawl, settling on a combination of rolling and army crawling to get where she needs to be. And just this weekend I felt and saw two tiny teeth poking through her gums.

Who knows where the time goes and why it has to go so quickly, but every day I am thankful that the Lord found Chandler and I worthy enough to raise this beautiful baby. Recently I was reading the blog of a mother-to-be who will never know her child outside of the womb due to his terminal, neural tube defect. In one particular post, after the doctor's appointment where she was told the unfortunate news of her son, the mother-to-be wrote, "The life I did not form, but the Lord placed in my womb. Not for me. The baby has never been mine, only his." Wow. What a faithful follower of the Lord who understands in her heart that the Lord's will is perfect and His plans are far greater than her own. In spite of her pain, she is comforted that her son belongs to the Lord. How selfish I feel that I hold Waverly so tightly that I forget that she ultimately belongs to the Lord and His ways for her life are far beyond any dreams she or I will ever dream. It is because of His grace that Chandler and I are so blessed with her life. As she grows and develops, I am experiencing Him in whole new ways, understanding different attributes of God's character through my relationship with Waverly.

Raising a child is quite a complicated mish-mash of emotions, I feel blessed to have her and excited with her development, I feel sad that she is growing so quickly, but a great responsibility rests on our shoulders to raise her in the sight of the Lord. If I have to worry myself with her future, I pray that it will be for her salvation and that she will love the Lord with a reckless abandon.

With that, I'm out.