6 countries, 4 time zones, 2 continents, 1 month. She'll be 3 in March.
Never before has she been around so many people with much darker skin that don't speak a lick of English, her only language. Never before have so many children wanted her attention. I just can't process what she is going through.
We went to church yesterday here in Burkina Faso. It was a 2 1/2 hour service but we had the freedom to step outside without feeling judged for interrupting the service. I packed a pb&j and an apple, plus a few books, and a coloring book and markers to keep Waverly busy during service, not knowing what to expect.
Mistake #1: don't tell your child you have a snack. She wanted her sandwich right off, but my plan was to save it until the end of the service which would be over about 1:00. I managed to hold her off for a bit, but caved because she was having a meltdown. Oh, and all of the kids are already staring at the 'nasara' (foreigner), then she's eating a sandwich in front of them. 'Sorry you all will just eat rice for lunch, maybe nothing, while my daughter chows on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for snack. Oh, you don't even know what peanut butter is? Well, it's delicious. See how she enjoys it so much? We're from America, can you tell?' Ugh. I felt terrible.
Mistake #2: don't tell your child she can have some Fanta for lunch if she shakes hands with everybody who wants to shake her hand. We learned a very important cultural lesson when we stepped on the church grounds: everyone will shake everyone's hands, even children, especially white children. I mean, we couldn't blame Waverly for not wanting to shake anybody's hand; that was so overwhelming for her, but how can we explain that to the people? Our translator called her out too, "you are not a very kind girl." He didn't mean harm by that statement, he was just acknowledging that she wasn't being culturally appropriate. So, we told her she could have some Fanta at lunch if she shook hands. Wanna know what she talked about for the next, oh, 2 1/2 hours? "I want Fanta." "No, you can have it at lunch." Super meltdown. Hear me: SUPER MELTDOWN.
Mistake #3: don't compare your child to the other national children. Waverly pretty much melted down the entire service, so she and I spent most of it outside in the courtyard. I was mortified by her behavior. Nothing I did was going to pacify her, nothing I could say, nothing. I kept looking at the kids around us who, none of them, cried about anything. Then I remembered that this was normal for these kids. This was all they had ever known, my child was in major culture shock and I just wasn't sensitive to realizing that.
Mistake #4: don't forget the toilet paper. Just don't. I did and when she had to use the potty, she peed in a hole in the ground and I didn't have anything to clean her with. Thankfully, she was wearing more absorbent panties. Thankfully, she did nothing more than "number 1".
To say that our church experience (not our first, though) was horrible is an understatement. But I learned a lot and it opened my heart to being more sensitive to what Waverly is experiencing right now. She processes culture shock in much the same way I do; unfortunately, through her attitude. Only for me, at almost 26, I can keep my frustration down until I am home in bed with no one around but Chandler. Her, at almost 3, isn't quite there yet.
This morning I was reminded of an answer I gave to a question asked in our extensive interview a year ago. Our interviewer asked to the affect of, 'why would you raise your kid in a third world country?' and I responded with, "Why wouldn't I want for my children to have that perspective on the world?" It's funny that the Lord reminded me of this today when just yesterday I was thinking, "How can we do this to her?" He keeps me accountable to the calling He placed on our lives individually AND as a family.
Please continue to pray for our sweet girl. Her whole world is so off kilter... No, maybe the better description is to say that her world is completely off its axis.
And now, for your viewing pleasure, Waverly's new trick: crossing her eyes.
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